The Aftershock of Penn State: What Every Adult Needs to Know About Grooming

Last month there was a firestorm surrounding the Penn State Child Sexual Abuse scandal, involving former Penn State defensive coach Jerry Sandusky. We have by now figured out what went wrong. We know horrible mistakes were made. We know that people in power are accused of horrific crimes.

Many of us are left reeling. How could this happen? Is this happening in our community?

Walking in on a child being raped is obviously Child Sexual Abuse in progress. However, it didn’t start just like that. Predators have a process that to gain access to children that are victimized. So how exactly do predators get to the point where he has complete access to a child and complete immunity within a community?

The answer is simple. It is called grooming.

We hear about grooming of children, but before that can happen, a predator must groom the adults. Grooming adults clears the way to victimizing children. If we want to stop children from becoming victims, we need to be able to identify how predators groom and trick both the children and adults around them..

Steps and Signs of Grooming:

• Identifies opportunities, organizations and communities with children
• Builds trust through friendships and/or leadership with the adults and children
• Begins to identify potential victims
• Gains access to children
• Begins testing boundaries with children and adults
• Provides presents, praise and privileges to both the adults and the children
• Creates secrecy 
• Abuse begins
• Uses threats towards children and sometimes adults to keep their crimes secret 

Adults are responsible for keeping the children in our lives safe. If you observe what you believe is grooming in progress, it is your duty to intervene. Talk to a supervisor, talk to your partner, talk to the police, talk to a specialist in Child Sexual Abuse prevention. Limit that person’s access to children immediately. Predators like to fly under the radar. If you start making noise and asking questions you will make it harder for them to be stealth in committing their crimes against children.

About the author: Kim Estes is a child safety expert and the founder of Savvy Parents Safe Kids. Kim believes that every child has the right to feel safe and that through prevention education, adults have the power to keep children safer.