Warning Signs Your Tween Might Be In Danger

Tweens, by nature, can be moody and secretive at this age. But if things seem out of the “normal” range of tween behavior, or the onset behavior is sudden, you many need to take a closer look at what is happening.

Tweens are at the highest risk for being a victim of crime. The median age for sexual abuse is age 9. Adults often assume that once kids can articulate their feelings as they enter middle school, that a child will automatically just tell an adult if something is wrong.

Unfortunately that is simply not true. Predators work hard to gain access to your child through your trust and theirs.

Flattery and gift giving (and then threats) are often the cornerstones for predatory behavior. Tweens are quick to fall for these tricks - and will intentionally hide this from their parents. Tweens will sometimes believe they have a "special relationship" with the predator and will go to great lengths to protect that relationship.

Some signs that may indicate that something is amiss if your child:

• Is being secretive about emails, phone calls, or where they are going
• Suddenly has advanced sexual knowledge 
• Suddenly seems depressed
• No longer wants to attend school or activities that they normally enjoy
• Suddenly refuses to spend time with a particular person
• Suddenly wants to spend all their time with a particular person
• Has expensive items (iPod, games, jewelry, etc) and you do not know where they came from
• Spends excessive time alone in their room or other isolated area on the computer, phone or game system (interactive gaming with others via the Internet)
• Suddenly makes their phone and/or computer password protected

Predators can be anyone - a man, a woman, an older teen. But it is important for parents to understand that predators gain access to your child through you.

As parents you are the eyes and ears for your tween. Pay attention to your “gut” and look for consistent patterns in red flag behaviors. Don't dismiss red flags because of a person’s age, their relationship with your family or that person’s social status. 

Boys and girls are nearly at identical risk for abuse. If your gut is telling you something does not seem “right” that is your instinct talking to you and letting you know you need to take a closer look at what is going on.

About the Author: Kim Estes is the founder of Savvy Parents Safe Kids and has been a parenting educator in the Puget Sound Area for 15 years. Kim believes every adult has the power to keep kids safer through prevention education.