Navigating The Holidays With An Eating Disorder

By: Dr. Neeru Bakshi

When we think of the holidays, we often think of family, friends, gift-giving, shopping and, yes, food. Celebrating the season while sharing food with loved ones is part of our collective culture and something we look forward to. But for individuals struggling with an eating disorder, this can be a very trying time of year.

During the holiday season, it’s important to be thoughtful about typical family traditions if you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, or in recovery from an eating disorder. Some tips for navigating the holidays include:

1. Set up realistic expectations: Consider switching out the typical huge family gathering in favor of something smaller and more intimate with close loved ones. Sitting at a dinner table surrounded by 50 people can be overwhelming for someone who is struggling with an eating disorder. There will likely be future holidays where returning to tradition makes sense, so be open to altering your plans for this year if needed.

2. Use your support system: Talk openly with friends and family about the challenges associated with holiday meals. Together, consider setting up an activity or outing for right after a meal to forgo too much post-meal downtime. Healthy distractions can aid in decreasing anxiety and distress.

3. Don’t skip meals: People often tend to skip meals during the day in order to “save up” for a big holiday meal. This can set up a situation where the anticipation of the meal causes distress. Family members and friends can consider what they may be modeling to a loved one who is struggling and ditch the “fasting for the final meal” mentality.

4. Create a code: If you do have a large family meal to attend, chances are that someone will, at some point, make a disparaging comment about weight and/or food. Prepare for it.  You may be able to predict who will say what, and knowing that may help take the power and impact out of the statements.

5. See the big picture: Food is just one aspect of the holiday season, and there are many other events and activities that make this time of year special. Consider doing volunteer work or creating quality time with friends and family away from the dinner table. While meals are a traditional component of the holiday season, be sure to incorporate the “spirit of giving” in ways that are emotionally rewarding.

About the Author: Dr. Bakshi is a Board certified adult psychiatrist who specializes in adult and adolescent psychiatry, group therapy, and consultation psychiatry at The Moore Center in Bellevue, WA. The Moore Center is Washington State's longest-established eating disorders clinic, delivering caring and cost-effective treatment for adolescents, young adults and adults. www.moorecenterclinic.com