Warren Mainard is the pastor of Essential Church (www.essentialchurch.cc) in Bellevue, the husband of Leah, and the father of a 10 year old daughter and a 7 year old son.
We live in a family oriented city. People love their kids and would do anything for them. As parents, we wake up early to prepare them for school, make a sack lunch, get projects ready, hair done and shoes tied. We put them in sports, art, music and scholastic classes, activities and camps to prepare them for future success. We begin saving for their college fund. Yet, how are we preparing them as people? How do we prepare them to become people of wisdom, character and integrity? How will we prepare our sons to not only find the right spouse, but keep her? How do we prepare our daughters to not only get the job, but to learn a healthy balance between work and family? How do we prepare them for love? How do we prepare them for hardship? How do we prepare them for death? It is very easy to get caught up in the daily doldrums that we lose sight of the fact that our children are becoming adults. This truth is inevitable, so it is irresponsible for us as parents to not prepare them for successful adulthood. Have you ever taken the time to consider this question- "What kind of young man or young woman do I want my child to become?" We must begin with the end in mind. A few years ago, I sat down and wrote out three words to help me think through this idea: Be, Know, Do. I asked the question, "By the time my children graduate from High school, what do I desire for them to "be," what do I think they should "know," and what would I like for them to "do"? By answering this question, it created an image of the type of young person I wanted to guide my children to become. It also gave me some specific markers and teaching goals that I would strive to impart. Each parent and family should take time to determine their own "Be, Know, Do" list, but as an example, here is mine.
Be:
* A growing and authentic Jesus follower.
* Emotionally connected with parents and family.
* A person of integrity.
* Passionate about God's Word and Serving others.
* A responsible, hard worker with a great attitude.
* A life long learner.
Know:
* Their identity in Christ.
* What they believe and why.
* How to engage people relationally.
* The proper places to find wisdom and knowledge.
Do:
* Serve others and share their faith.
* Treat all people with respect.
* Pursue higher education.
* Stay committed to Christ and the Church.
Understanding what kind of a young person you envision your child becoming will help you best determine how you can guide them in the proper direction. It helps you to see the areas of their lives that might need additional emphasis, as well as those which may need less attention. We are more likely to be intentional about the things that really matter if we have identified our parenting priorities.
What would you include on your list?
How are you going to help your children take steps in that direction?